If only?

hey,

Is it just me, or is does it happen to everyone?

Sometimes you just wonder whether you've chosen the right choice, wether you've taken the right path. Sometimes, when you look at the other choices, you regret that you didn't take them.. Maybe I should have just waited a bit longer, be more patient, taken my time..

There are just so many things that could have happened differently. Sometimes, when I look at what I am currently doing, I wonder, Why AM I taking chemical engineering? I mean, maybe engineering would be some interest, but why chemical? I mean, I hate chemistry! I only got 5C in the subject in SPM. Why didn't I take Brandon's course, Geology. I find it so much more interesting, and for that matter, I got 1A in it in SPM, and I only had a month's worth of class for it cos it used to clash with my biology class in school.

When I listen to them discussing about their school stuff, all their field trips, oh man, how I'd love to go for them...

If not, why didn't I take something along the line of electrical or mechanical engineering? It would have been probably of much more interest to me...

Sometimes, I wonder, wether back in the days after SPM, I should have persisted with my family to become a pilot. My mum said I should take a degree 1st so that if I got bored flying I have something else to do. my grandmother on the other hand totally went against it completely, she would rather me do ANYTHING else but flying...

And then I go further back in time, where I wanted to become a mathematician. Like The Mathematician. I loved maths and I personally believe I am really good in it. If you ask anyone who knows me well enough in secondary school, they would almost synonimize me with maths I would think, if there were a subject that I could have been synonimized with.(Not sure wether that is an actual word though).

I guess, thinking of all these things, there was always a reason to why I didn't choose the others. And I actually now come to believe that comparing to what I feel towards my course right now, I feel that I should have went for any of them instead. Sigh, maybe I'm just feeling a bit depressed right now...

I guess, the main reason for me to come into chemical engineering was the fact that I could literally go into any other field after that as there are so many transferable skills.. Well maybe except being a doctor, then again, bio was my worst subject in SPM so doubt that matters... Sigh, maybe I'm just at fault for not really deciding what I want as a career just yet.. I mean, I've always stayed and taken the course that gives me a wide option still, that was Science stream in SPM, physical science foundation in my pre-univesity(Though life science would have given me more option, but my Bio wasnt good enough back in school) and now chemical engineering.. Sigh, whatever la, can't do anything about it now really, just havta go and end this. just another year to go, or 2...

Peace out people! thanks for reading my ramblings and thoughts! hahah! sorry if its a waste of time.